THE KILLDEER
by Jay Broad
SPARKY

I got up, went to the bathroom, made breakfast, argued with you, threw my cup across the kitchen when you slammed the door as you went out, answered the telephone, Susan's car is broken, so I came back, washed the dishes, then Mumsey called about coming to visit--like you said they would--then Frieda came over, we drank coffee, talked out her divorce, talked about her lawyer, talked about her alimony, then the bank called and I had to run down there to transfer out of our savings, that's wrong...to transfer what was left of our savings to cover your overdraft, then I came back and the phone rang again, it was Safeway telling me our grocery check had bounced, I told them to send it back through and the man said he would if I would bring him over two dollars to cover the redeposit cost, so I drove over to Safeway, I was very embarrassed but I did it anyway because I knew you wouldn't eve if you said you would and I'd just have to answer the phone again tomorrow or start shopping somewhere else, the I heard screaming out on the street and I ran out, the Carlson's dog had been run over and nobody knew what to do, so I wrapped him in a towel and put him in the back of our car and drove over to the Vet's, he was dead when I got there and there was blood all over the back seat and there was nobody to help me get him out of the car except a smart little bastard who wanted to know why I brought a dead dog to the Vet's, then I came back here and cleaned the back seat, it's still wet, and the man came to give an estimate on the roof, it'll cost nine hundred and ninety dollars, not including any new spouts or gutters he may have to replace, I told him you'd call him tonight or tomorrow, and Georgia called, she was behind getting ready for the party and wanted to know if I'd do some shopping for her, I said OK and back I went to Safeway, the groceries for Georgia came to fourteen something and all I had was ten, I asked if they'd take a check and we went through that whole thing again, but I promised and they did and I took the groceries to Georgia, Susan was there and her car was still broken so I did the afternoon kiddie run for her, I came back here, Huck and Spike were home, Spike had gotten mad at Huck and locked him out, so Huck went over to Lynch's and got on the telephone and called Spike and called him he a dirty name so Spike came out and hit Huck in the nose, and buy this time I was back, but Spike had let the door close behind him and locked us all out and my keys were inside there on the counter so we had to bread the lock on the garage window and Huck crawled in, and by that time I'd had my fill of one day on this green earth so I told them to make their own supper and I went in the garage, closed the garage door, and sat in the car listening to the radio and drinking my martini...and it's the best twenty minutes I've had this year. Then I heard you come home, so I came in here and you were standing there shouting about the TV...and you're lucky I didn't knock your teeth out...