BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS
Blanche & Nora

NORA, running in exited!

NORA (A little breathless) Okay! Here goes! . . . I'm going to be in a Broadway show! (Blanche looks at her in a stunned silence) It's a musical called Abracadabra. This man, Mr. Beckman, he's a. producer, came to our dancing class this afternoon and he picked out three girls. We have to be at the Hudson Theater on Monday morning at ten o'clock to audition for the dance director. But on the way out he took me aside and said the job was as good as mine. I have to call him tomorrow. I may have to go into town to talk to him about it. They start rehearsing a week from Monday and then it goes to Philadelphia, Wilmington and Washington. . . and then it comes to New York the second week in December. There are nine big musical numbers and there's going to be a big tank on the stage that you can see through and the big finale all takes place with the entire cast all under water. . . I mean, can you believe it? I'm going to be in a Broadway show, Momma!

BLANCHE What are you  talking about? Did you tell him how old you were?

NORA He didn't ask me.

BLANCHE He didn't ask if you were sixteen?

NORA He just asked me to audition. My God, aren’t you excited?

BLANCHE How can you go to Philadelphia? What about school?

NORA School? Momma, this is a Broadway show. This is what I want to do with my life. Algebra and English isn't going to help me on the stage.

BLANCHE You mean not finish school? Not get a diploma? Do you know how hard it is today for a girl to get a good job without a high school diploma?

NORA But I've got a job. And I'll be making more money than ten girls with diplomas. --

BLANCHE  You don't have it yet. You still have to audition.

NORA It's as good as mine. Mr. Beckman told me.

BLANCHE And what if you, God forbid, broke a leg? Or got heavy. . . How long do you think they'll keep you? Dancing is just for a few years. A diploma is forever. I know. I never had one. I know how hard it is to find a decent job.

NORA Then why did you send me to dancing school for three years? Why do I spend two hours a day on a subway, four days a week after school, with money that you make going half blind over a broken sewing machine? Why, Momma?

BLANCHE Because it's my pleasure. . . Because I know how you love it . . . Because you asked me.

NORA Then I'm asking you something else, Momma. Let me do something for you now. I could be making almost sixty dollars a week. Maybe even more. . . In two years when I get out of high school, I wouldn't make that much with a college diploma.

BLANCHE (Takes a deep breath) I can't think now. It's almost dinnertime. Uncle Jack will be home soon. We'll discuss it later. . .

(She gets up)

NORA I have to know now, Momma. I have to call Mr. Beckman and let him know if I can go to the audition on Monday. . . At least let me audition. Let me find out first if they think I'm good enough. Please don't say no until Monday.

BLANCHE Well, God knows we can use the money. We all owe Aunt Kate and Uncle Jack enough as it is. . . I think they have as much say in this as I do. Then we'll leave it up to Uncle Jack. We'll let him make the decision. (She starts for the kitchen)

NORA Why, Momma? I love Uncle Jack, but he's not my father.

BLANCHE  Then the answer is no. 

NORA  You can’t stop me!                                                                
              (NORA exits, lights dim and come back up indicating later in the evening.  BLANCHE is waiting up for NORA)

BLANCHE I wanted to talk to you.

NORA Now? It's late.

BLANCHE I know it's late. We could have talked earlier  if you didn't come home at twelve o'clock at night. (BLANCHE walks into the living .room. NORA follows her in and stands in the doorway)

NORA How was your: dinner?

BLANCHE I didn't go. Mr. Murphy was in an accident.

NORA I'm sorry. Is he all right?

BLANCHE He's got his problems, like the rest of us . . . I was very hurt that you left tonight without saying goodbye.

NORA I was late. Someone was waiting for me.

BLANCHE So was I. You knew it was important to me.

NORA I'm not feeling very well.

BLANCHE You purposely left without seeing me. You've never done that before.

NORA Can we talk about this in the morning?

BLANCHE I won't be here in the morning.

NORA Then tomorrow night.

BLANCHE I'm leaving, Nora. I'm moving out in the morning.

NORA What are you talking about?

BLANCHE Aunt Kate and I had a fight tonight. We said some terrible things to each other. Things that have been bottled up since we were children. I'm going to stay with my friend Louise in Manhattan Beach until I can find a job. Then I'll send for you and Laurie.

NORA I can't believe it. You mean it's all right for you to leave us but it wasn't all right for me to leave you?

BLANCHE I was never concerned about your leaving me. It was your future I was worrying about.

NORA It was my future. Why couldn't I have something to say about it?

BLANCHE Maybe I was wrong, I don't know. I never made the decisions for the family. Your father did. Aunt Kate was right about one thing: everyone always took care of me. My mother, my sisters, your father, even you and Laurie. I've been a very dependent per- son all my life.

NORA Maybe that's all I'm asking for. To be independent.

BLANCHE (Sternly) You earn your independence. You don't take it at the expense of others. Would that job even be offered to you if somebody in this family hadn't paid for those dancing lessons and kept a roof over your head and clothes on your back? If anyone's going to pay back Uncle Jack, it'll be me-doing God knows what, I don't know-but one thing I'm sure of. I'll steal before I let my daughter show that man one ounce of ingratitude or disrespect.

NORA So I have to give up the one chance I may never get again, is that it? I'm the one who has to pay for what you couldn't do with your own life.

BLANCHE (Angrily) What right do you have to judge me like that?

NORA Judge you? I can't even talk to you. I don't exist to you. I have tried so hard to get close to you but there was never any room. Whatever you had to give went to Daddy, and when he died, whatever was left you gave to- (She turns away)

BLANCHE What? Finish what you were going to say.

NORA. . . I have been jealous my whole life of Laurie because she was lucky enough to be born sick. I could never turn a light on in my room at night or read in bed because Laurie always needed her precious sleep. I could never have a friend over on the weekends be- cause Laurie was always resting. I used to pray I'd get some terrible disease or get hit by a car so I'd have a leg all twisted or crippled and then once, maybe just once, I'd get to crawl into bed next to you on a cold rainy night and talk to you and hold you until I fell asleep in your arms. . . just once. . .

(She is in tears)

BLANCHE My God, Nora. . . is that what you think of me?

NORA Is it any worse than what you think of me?

BLANCHE (Hesitates, trying to recover) I'm not going to let you hurt me, Nora. I'm not going to let you tell me that I don't love you or that I haven't tried to give you as much as I gave Laurie. . . God knows I'm not perfect, because enough angry people in this house told me so tonight. But I am not going to be a doormat for all the frustrations and unhappiness that you or Aunt Kate or anyone else wants to lay at my feet. . . I did not create this universe. I do not decide who lives and dies, or who's rich or poor or who feels loved and who feels deprived. If you feel cheated that Laurie gets more than you, then I feel cheated that I had a husband who died at thirty-six. And if you keep on feeling that way, you'll end up like me-with something much worse than loneliness or helplessness and that's self-pity. Believe me, there is no leg that's twisted or bent that is more crippling than a human being who thrives on his own misfortunes. . . I am sorry, Nora, that you feel unloved and I will do everything I can to change it except apologize for it. I am tired of apologizing. After a while it becomes your life's work and it doesn't bring any money into the house. If it's taken your pain and Aunt Kate's anger to get me to start living again, then God will give me the strength to make it up to you, but I will not go back to being that frightened, helpless woman that I created! I've already buried someone I love. Now it's time to bury someone I hate.

NORA I didn't ask you to hate yourself. I just asked you to love me.

BLANCHE I do, Nora. Oh, God, why can't I make that clear to you?

NORA I feel so terrible.

BLANCHE Why?

NORA Because I think I hurt you and I still want that job  with Mr. Beckman.

BLANCHE I know you do.

NORA But I can't have it, can I?

BLANCHE How can I answer that without you thinking  I'm still depriving you?

NORA I don't know. . . Maybe you just did.

BLANCHE I hope so, Nora. I pray to God it's so.